I have a blog? Yep. :)

Yea! I am so excited to finally have a blog. I've considered blogging for awhile now- but I just never got around to it. My cousin started her blog today, & her excitement lit the fire under my ass to get mine going as well. I have SO much to say. I can't wait to get my thoughts out on paper! I'll be posting very soon. :)

~My Epiphany~

 I wrote this on 11/22/09 on my myspace blog.

Category: Life

So- I recently got my second tattoo. It's been a LONG time coming. I've experienced some serious shit in my life so far.. & today I suddenly felt good about life & where I am in life. My tattoo artist was telling me last week that the world is all going crazy right now because the world is changing for the better. That we are in the mist of a transition from a world of fear to a world of love. That relationships are a part of life not to teach us how to love someone else- yet rather to learn how to love ourselves. I love it. & I have heard that before & thought that I believed it. Then I had my epiphany today. I have spent so much of my life in relationships. Seriously. I haven't been single for long or often... & a lot of those relationships were long dead before they ended or should have been- because I so wanted to make the other person happy. To bring "him" joy. I thought that would make me happy. I'm in love with love! I am in the middle of a divorce & pretty recently out of a short term relationship that burned hot & ended quickly & I've had a really hard time handling all of my emotions. I've had a hard time just being & dealing with what life is bringing me. It's hard to let go of stress.. and harder to let go of fear. Fear motivates EVERYTHING! Fear of life. Fear of love. Fear of being hurt or hurting someone else. Fear of being alone. Fear of messing up. Fear of letting people in and fear of letting people go. Fear of fear itself.What kind of way is that to live?! It's not! & all of a sudden all of the things that I've known.. that I've learned with all of my relationships.. with all of my friendships... with every hardship that I have experienced- it all fell into place in my mind & a light went on- IT CLICKED!! I feel like I'm evolving into the person that I truly am and want to be. & I realized that single is not bad. It's a good place to be. It's where I need to be. & for the first time that I can honestly think of.. The place that I WANT to be! It feels great! Like a huge weight has been lifted off of me that I've been carrying around since I was a little girl and "realized" that you have to be loved to be happy. But I know I have friends and family who love me a lot. & I have two little boys who give me the best love I've ever known. & I love myself. I have never said that. It's great. That's what it's all about. Being happy with YOU. & I finally am!!  Good day. :) Love yourselves people!!